Big Sisters
by OerbaFarron
Summary: Fang and Lightning were both looking for their sisters. When they were alone and didn't know what to do, they supported each other. A pillar of strength and comfort when the other needed it. Begins on the Lindblum. Rated T for yuri and language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **_This idea hit me like a train. I had to get it out. This won't be a long story, and it will be T rated for the whole thing, I think._

_Don't worry; I'll update Double Trouble before this. :)_

OOO

We were always together, Vanille and I. Not even related and yet we're like sisters. Trust me, if she wasn't like a sister, I swear I would've beat her senseless for some of the stupid things that she had gotten us into. It was funny how I first met her. We were back in the orphanage – I was ten, she was eight – and I heard this… _strange _sound. Now, I knew what sex was back then, we – the kids – once heard the adults going at it like rabbits in a nearby house. The… sounds coming from that house was similar to what that girl was making.

I immediately spun around when I heard her. I'm sure that I had an extremely shocked expression on my face but when I turned and saw her trying to lift a bucket of water – all the while making those _moans_ – I couldn't help but fall to the ground laughing. Vanille got all mad at me then, her face flushing – but still carrying that bucket out to the chocobo stables. I followed her, asking if she always made those sounds when she put a little _oomph _in her daily activities.

Her bottom lip trembled, as if she was about to cry. She quickly bit on her lip to stop the involuntary movement, setting the bucket down. She lunged at me and began beating my chest with her little fists. She's always been small. I would sometimes teasingly call her the runt of the pack.

Those little fists weren't doing anything, but the tears were. I blinked a few times to make sure I was seeing things correctly. Sighing, I reached out, catching her fists in my larger and stronger ones. "I'm sorry." I had said.

"Hmph." Vanille turned her back on me. Little sniffles occasionally came from the little girl in front of me.

Scratching the back of my head, I sighed again. "What's your name? Did you just move here with your parents?"

Little shoulders shook in response. "Hey…" I moved forward, gently touching the trembling girl. Vanille turned away. I growled, spinning her back around to face me. "Look, I said I was so—," My eyes got big as I saw this… look of such despair, pain, horror, and just… _hurt. _

That's when I knew. She was the new orphan that I had heard about.

"C'mere." I pulled her close in a warm hug. "Nothin' bad is gonna happen anymore. I promise." Her hair was downy soft as I ran my hand through it. "I'll protect you like you're my own sister, yeah?" Vanille nodded, little sobs escaping. It sounded like she was holding back – judging from the grip she had on my sari, she was. "Let it out." She did, and I held her while she sobbed and let out muffled screams.

We've been together – inseparable – ever since…

Ever since now.

OOO

I jolted awake from the dream-memory. My heart was pounding, cold sweat covered my skin. I gripped the colorful necklace with Oerba's symbol tightly, a reminder of the little sister that was gone.

Leaning back against the cold wall of the ship, I breathed out heavily. I can't let this stuff get to me. Vanille wouldn't like it.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood at attention suddenly. Someone was watching me. My eyes flickered over to the small group across the room. Raines, Snow, Hope, and Rydega were all huddled together – Etro knows what they were discussing. I kept my eyes down as I looked out through my peripherals. Several soldiers marched away, doing their… viper things. Never did like their military system here – it was so _formal_. Full of classifications and rank – you could be in their damn military, never get on the battlefield, and have a whole army assigned to you. It was pathetic and stupid, nothing like Gran Pulse.

That left one person though. My eyes rose to meet the cerulean blue of a certain Guardian Corps sergeant. She had her gunblade out in its sword form, her legs crossed as always. Strands of pink hair hung around her face, occasionally blowing from the air conditioning on the ship or someone passing her by. Our eyes locked together – neither of us breaking the gaze.

You know, I never have met anyone like Lightning. She was cold – emotionally and mentally – to the point where I compare her to the northern reaches of Gran Pulse. It was so cold there that huge continents of ice would form, ice that didn't even melt from the sun. She was pale too, as if she never liked going outside too much – which is completely foreign to me, but hey, everything this woman did was foreign to me. That pink hair was the thing that perked my interest and curiosity the most though. I've seen red hair in various colors, orange ranging to a dark auburn to a light cherry but never have I seen actual _pink _hair. And the way it's styled? Straight and spiky on one side and curly on the next? That doesn't make sense to me. Even Vanille – with her quirky ways, would style her hair… normally. Pigtails were for little girls, yeah, but Vanille's maturity level is like a man's – you subtract seven years.

The two things about the soldier that caught my attention when I first met her were her body and her beauty. She's different – downright strange – but… exotic. Her body is so toned, so layered in muscle and yet still manages to look feminine… She has skin that is unblemished or marked – utter perfection, as if Gran Pulses's greatest artists took decades in creating the perfect masterpiece.

All the things that the older warriors taught us when we were first learning how to fight were mostly true… until you compare them with a woman like Lightning. They called the vipers' ugly, horrendous monsters – demons from the world above; agents of Lindzei. Lightning was beautiful, hands down – an angel. I could stare at her for hours trying to find some mistake and I would never find one.

Along with all of the things that the soldier made me think of, she elicited these… weird feelings. Whenever she frowned, I wanted to go over there and make her laugh or smile at least one damn time. It wouldn't kill her to _smile_. Her eyes were always so distant, so closed off. Everything about her screamed _You don't know me. _And it's true. No one knows what's going on behind those gorgeous blue eyes. I know that she has an intense dislike for the blonde buffalo, a soft side toward the silver haired teen, and wariness towards Raines and his crew, but me? We met twelve hours ago, after I hopped off of Snow's summon and chased her down. We got to talking – and she slapped me. _Slapped_ me. Had it been anybody else – I would have kicked their ass to Taejin's Tower and back right then and there. Lightning is the only person that I think could handle me though – if I let my guard down, she could even beat me. But instead – smarting off to her, getting her flustered – it always satisfies me. Instead of imagining various ways I could throttle her, I get her to blush for me – get her all cute and tongue-tied.

Yeah, we've known each other for twelve hours, that's it. But we have this… really strange connection. It reveals itself while we are fighting. We move so fluidly with each other, every strike, parry, and block, we do it knowing that the other will be right beside us. I call the fire from the enemy and she quietly sneaks in and starts slashing away at their backs. She sends out her spells and I charge in to give them a taste of Gran Pulsian melee. I rain down sabotage and she casts defense. We were like mirror versions of one another, except we were from two completely different worlds, literally and figuratively.

All of these thoughts flashed through my mind as I continued to look at her. Soldiers passed us, bodies flitting in and out through our line of sight, but we would always meet again. Until finally a large group passed and she returned to her precious gunblade.

She really did like that gunblade. I love my lance; it's much sturdier and _a lot_ easier on the eyes than her gunblade… Hmm… I should offer to spruce up her weapon sometime.

I pushed myself off of the ground, brushing some dirt from the ground off. I caught her looking at me again, this time her eyes traveled from my open-toed boots and wandered upwards. She was… trying to be sneaky – I could tell… might as well give her a show. I drew my arms up, stretching leisurely and making sure to reveal my abs even more than my sari showed; I flexed my arms and legs and smirked as I saw her eyes widen slightly. The sari swirled around my legs, showing off way more than I usually allow.

This was… interesting. Fun.

I shook the remaining tingles of sleep from my body. I cracked my neck as I turned to walk down the hall, and I swear I could feel her eyes still on me. A little more sashay of the hips wouldn't bother her any, would it? I smirked before yawning widely.

I'm still tired. Raines gave me a room to sleep in – and I fully intend on using it before we storm PSICOM's greatest warship.

I just hope that the nightmares and memories hold off for awhile.

OOO

The vipers here have a strange taste in architecture and culture. They're so… technologic. Everything has to be pristine and top notch. There's no soul here. The people are practically the same; animals that were bred and tamed. House pets, that's what they are. I'd like to see their reaction to Gran Pulse. Imagining a King Behemoth slashing through PSICOM soldiers was a wonderful vision.

The door suddenly opened then, interrupting my thoughts. I tensed, reaching for my lance. "You better have a damn good reason for busting through here like you own the place." I warned the stranger.

"…Sorry." Hesitant, but the apology was there.

My hand returned to its place on my stomach. "There something I can do for you, Lightning?"

I turned to look at her whenever she didn't answer. She looked embarrassed – she always was when she came near me. It's like I have some strange voodoo effect on her. Little does she know – she has the same effect on me.

"I wanted to talk… If you don't mind."

She really tacks on the respect at the end of her sentences, doesn't she?

"What about?" I nodded towards the end of the bed. She hesitated before lightly perching on the mattress.

Lightning was quiet for a moment. Whatever she wants to talk about, it must be important, else she would have brought it up in front of the others. I'll give her all the time she needs though – after all, I kinda like talking to her.

"Vanille's your… partner?"

Well that's unexpected. She's curious about Vanille?

"Do you Cocoon people have a different definition of partner?" She winced at that.

"Sort of…"

"Like…?" I sat up, crossing my legs, and tilting my head to the side. When did her blush get so cute?

Lightning cleared her throat. "It could mean several things," Etro, she can't even keep eye contact with me. "She could be a Pulse-,"

"Gran Pulse."

"—_Gran_ Pulse agent along with you, or she could be your… um…"

"My… um…?" I'm turning into a sadist. Poor Lightning.

"You could be lovers." She said quickly.

What?

I busted out laughing, clutching my sides as I fell back down on the bed. Through tear-filled eyes, I could see that Lightning was staring at the other wall, a muscle working in her jaw – but I couldn't help it! Me and _Vanille_— that brought another round of laughter.

"Never mind," She stood up, her posture like a rod that was shoved straight in her back.

My laughter died out, as I saw her take a step away from me. She's trying to open herself up, and I just mocked her. Not thinking, I reached out to catch her wrist. "Hey, Light," I could feel her tense as soon as I touched her. Her head lowered a little bit. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you. Come sit back down."

Lightning eyed me warily. "I won't laugh, cross my heart." She sighed, sitting back down on the bed, albeit slowly.

"So, you want to know what my definition of 'partner' is, yeah?"

She nods.

"Well, we kinda are 'agents of Gran Pulse' but not lovers." I shook my head. "Vanille is like my little sister." I said softly.

"You miss her." She sounded… surprised.

I shrugged. "You miss Serah, don't you?"

"I'd tear down the sky for her."

My head shot up, eyes locking with hers again. There was a small smile in place, her blue eyes glittering. "Oh you're cute, Sunshine."

Lightning scoffed. "Sunshine?"

"Fits your happy-go-lucky personality."

"Right… Snaggletooth."

I chuckled. I rearranged myself so that I was sitting next to Lightning, my hands braced on the side of the bed with my arm barely brushing against hers.

"Now what is it you really want to tell me, Light?" Her eyes widened. "Oh, please – like you didn't just come in here to talk to me about my," I raised my hands for makeshift quotation marks. ", 'relationship' with Vanille."

She looked away, biting her bottom lip. Her straight pink strands fell down to cover her eyes, hiding any emotion that I might find. A few minutes passed; I was about to ask her again but then, "I just…" Her hands – which were resting on the sides of the bed like mine – tightened their grip. "Did you ever blame yourself for your sister becoming a l'Cie?"

"All the time," I looked down at the necklace that Vanille had made me – the symbol of Oerba... home. "If it wasn't for me, she wouldn't be in this mess. She'd be with the rest of our village." She didn't reply. Pushing myself off of the bed, I crouched down in front of her. She flinched when I grabbed her hands and pulled them into her lap. She was cold. I rubbed her hands between mine in hopes that friction would warm her up a little. "It wasn't your fault, Light. Snow told me what happened," She opened her mouth to argue back. "Nuh-uh, none of that. You are the _best_ big sister anyone could have and it's _not_ your fault. That burden does not need to be placed on your soldiers."

A chocked sob escaped her.

She's…

I didn't think. I leaned forward, pulling her in for the comfort that she needed. "We're gonna get our sisters, Light. I promise."

OOO

She had cried for a bit, maybe half an hour. After that she got up, quietly thanking me before she slipped out and off to her own room. I never thought that Lightning would be searching for comfort from me – especially when we just met a day ago.

But, I guess it's like I said – there was some sort of connection between us. I barely know her and she barely knows me – and yet, it's like we have known each other for our whole lives. We are light and darkness, sun and moon, Pulse and Lindzei.

We are opposites, enemies.

Then why do I feel this way?

OOO

**A/N: **_Review please :3_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **_Yesh, I said that I would update Double Trouble before this *wince*. Sorry. The next update __**will **__be Double Trouble. Anywho, read and review please, tell me what you think. :3_

OOO

"Fang."

I looked away from where I had been watching a group of soldiers training, going through their military drills. Raines was standing a few feet away, Rygdea at his side as always – but looking _quite _uncomfortable. "Raines."

He rested one of his hands on his hip, the other going to his temple. "The _Palamecia _is changing its course. The ship will be nearer to Eden's territory, right in the heart of the Sanctum."

"So?" I arched an eyebrow, arms crossed.

"… It…" He cleared his throat. "We will not be boarding the ship for another week."

There was an involuntary muscle movement in my jaw and right hand.

I scoffed, moving closer. "I couldn't quite hear you all the way over there," I gestured to where I had been standing. "It sounded like you said it'd be a _week_ until we storm the ship."

"Er…" He takes a few more steps back. Rygdea's hand twitches – it's his trigger finger.

No way, viper.

A swift kick to Rygdea's stomach sends him sprawling on the deck; I duck underneath Cid's punch, coming up with my own to his chin in an uppercut. He too, falls to the deck. I placed my foot on his throat, yanking my lance from its sheath, ignoring the countless soldiers that were surrounding us. The tip of my weapon grazed his chin, leaving a miniscule cut. "I'm gonna say this one time only; you vipers are cunning little bastards. You say that you can't catch up with the _Palamecia _and yet this very ship is the pride of one of your military's branches?" My lance dug deeper into Cid's skin. "You think I'm stupid?" I leaned closer as I hissed this out. "Something isn't right, and I'll be _damned_ if I'll let any of you Cocoon vipers go behind my back."

I pulled away from Raines, walking past the soldiers that were quick to get out of my way. Whispers followed me as I stalked down the halls; eyes were wide with fear and hate, people went out of their way to give me space.

Goddamn vipers.

OOO

I was soon in the training area. Anyone that came in here that saw me left. Fine by me.

I slipped my sandal boots off, unbuckling my belt, and letting my sari fall to the ground. When I picked it up and folded it, a memory flashed to the forefront of my mind.

OOO

_Vanille giggled upon hearing me grumble as she combed through my hair. "Stay still." She rapped me on the skull with the brush. _

"_Ow." I threw her a dirty look._

_She finished, dragging me up from the seat and turning me to face her. "I got you something."_

_My eyes narrowed._

"_Fang." She whined, "It's just clothes."_

"'_Just clothes'…" Yeah, right. 'Just clothes' for Vanille was a closet-full for me. _

_Vanille pouted, her bottom lip trembling, eyes big. _

_Grrr._

"_Get the damn clothes!" I said, exasperated. _

_She jumped up, excited as could be. Humming as she got a bag out, she took out an ornate belt with a round sheath to accommodate my lance and finally a bright blue silken material. My eyes widened as they landed on the traditional sari of my clan. "Where did you get this?"_

_Vanille toed the ground. "Erm… Well… You know how Matron… told us about the clans?" She looked up at me, looking more than a little embarrassed. I tilted my head to the side, wondering where she was getting at. "I asked... I mean – it's your birthday, so…" _

"_Jeez, Vanille, just spit it out already."_

"_I asked Matron if I could give your mother's sari to you."_

"…" _I couldn't respond right then._

"_Fang?" She came closer, watching me stare down at the sari in my hands._

_I wordlessly pulled her in a tight hug. _

_The thing about Vanille…_

"_It's okay, Fang." I couldn't help the small tears that escaped – she noticed. She always notices. _

… _She understands me. _

OOO

My jaw tightened.

Vanille wasn't here with me right now – no one here has a clue.

I heard the door to the training area slide open. My head turned to the side to view the intruder through one eye. A distinct pair of boots clicked across the floor, loose fabric swishing, and the lovely smell of strawberry and vanilla perfume filled the air.

I smelled that scent before.

"Lightning." Turning around to face her, I crossed my arms and leaned back on the table. I didn't miss her eyes as they took in my new attire – my black halter top and my short shorts.

Her eyes flickered back up to my face. No, 'you okay?' no 'you want to talk about it?' – just stands there for a minute, watching me. She finally walks toward me, getting to the table beside me and begins to take her jacket off. "What are you doing?"

Oh, that gave me a _look_. Must remember to be less snappy… Guess I didn't react well to the good news.

She was just in her half-turtleneck and denim skirt… is that a bellybutton ring? I arched an eyebrow. "Hey." Lightning snapped her fingers in front of my eyes. "Eyes up." She smiled.

My mouth twitched upwards in response, when normally I would have grinned. She noticed it, her eyes lingering on my lips before falling to focus on the holster she was taking off. Her pink strands fell down, just itching to be touched – wait, what?

I blinked a few good times. Where did _that _come from?

Her boots came off next. I tried again. "No seriously, what are you doing?"

Lightning got her gun-blade out and switched it to its sword form. My hand twitched toward my lance – it's a habit.

"Light." I pushed off from the table, discretely pulling my lance along with me and put some distance between us.

"I figured you wanted something to do to take your mind off things." She said. "Do you want to spar? I mean – I know you go through the motions alone – it's just…"

I had to smile then. "Sunshine," I walked to her, gently flicking her forehead. "I would love to spar with you."

OOO

It had been _hours._

Lance against sword, our faces inches apart. I growled, twisting around and coming at her other side – which she blocked. She went to sweep my feet out from under me, and I barely evaded it. Lightning swept the blade upward, almost slashing my face.

Nuh-uh._ Don't_ ruin the face, dear.

In return, I brought my lance closer to her own, cutting a few of those pink strands off. A muscle above Lightning's eye twitched.

Uh-oh, sensitive much?

Her knee came up to my stomach, knocking the breath right out of me.

Yep, she's sensitive.

I stumbled back to collect my bearings and the next thing I knew she was right behind me, flicking her gun-blade in front of my throat, her body pressed up against mine to keep it there. My heart was pounding so hard and so fast – I actually had to exert myself. I… liked it.

I dropped, sweeping her feet out from under her and straddling her waist, knocking the gun-blade from her grasp and pointing the sharp end of my lance at her throat.

We both were breathing hard, our chests heaving as we stared at each other.

"Do you yield?"

Lightning turned to the side, avoiding eye contact.

"Say it."

She muttered, "I yield."

"Phew," I slumped, letting my lance drop away. That was tough. I grinned down at her. "You fight pretty good, Sunshine."

Lightning smirked, pushing me off of her and sitting up. "You're not too bad yourself." Cheeky.

"Was that a compliment? My hearing must be _really_ bad today."

She shoved me lightly as I chuckled.

We were quiet for a moment.

"Light…" Blue eyes focused on me and I… just lost my train of thought. There was a light green ring in the center of that beautiful blue.

Lightning tilted her head. "What?"

"Oh! Erm…" I scratched my head. "Thanks, for… ya know..."

This was embarrassing. Was that a smirk? Oh, she—

"You're welcome, Snaggletooth."

I pushed myself off of the ground, ignoring the blush that was apparent on my tan skin. I held out a hand to her. She took it, pulling herself up... really, _really_ close. She was shorter than me, the top of her head level with my brow. Her eyes were so pretty – I cringed mentally. Viper, viper, viper, viper, viper…

"We'll get her back, Fang."

My throat itched, feeling closed. What is _wrong _with me?

"Hey, hey…" A gentle hand cupped my cheek. Wait, what is she doing? I pulled back, only to feel a hand grip my hip. "It's okay, Fang…"

What is she—? She reached up to brush something from my cheek.

Please tell me I'm not crying.

Etro, this—

Suddenly, I felt her head rest on my shoulder, her arms around my waist. She's hugging me?

I swallowed tightly before returning the hug, burying my face in those strawberry locks. Sobs wracked my body, and I'm sure that my nails were digging into her flesh – but she didn't do anything – Lightning kept hugging me. Why was she doing this? She doesn't know me. Wait – why the hell am _I_ doing this?

When I tried to pull back and get away, she stopped me. "Look… I know you don't trust me – and yet you do. I'm a 'viper' from Cocoon, but… I understand, Fang. Just want to let you know that."

She feels the same?

"I don't get it…" My voice was husky. "Why…" I trailed off; it's getting harder and harder to talk.

"Why do we feel this way? We're enemies. That's what you want to say."

"… Yeah."

I could feel her hesitate.

"I don't know."

I held her as she held me for… I don't know how long. Her skin was unbelievably soft and smooth against my own. Lightning's body was solid, and yet it was not; feminine with a touch of masculinity. I've always wondered what her hair felt like, now that I'm absently running my hands through it… It felt like the lightest silk – even better than my sari. And she was warm; those arms around my waist were holding me together.

Lightning and I, we don't know each other. But I feel the need to… protect her and just _be _there for her.

Like she was doing for me.

Nobody every protected me. If they did, I was too young to remember it. It's kinda ironic how things turned out.

All that I've ever protected was Vanille. She was my sister, my closest friend. And Lightning…?

I looked down at her, spotting the trails of tears on her cheeks. "Light…" I brushed them away. "Don't cry for me… Please…"

"I'm crying _with_ you Fang." She grabbed my hand and pulled it over her heart.

… She understands.

OOO

So, one whole week.

Lightning kept me busy. Every day we would meet in the mornings, grab breakfast from the cafeteria. Then we would go to the training grounds; she was teaching me how to shoot _correctly_. After a couple hours of that, we'd go back and grab lunch, and she would find something to entertain us, whether it be the massive databanks on her people or flying one of the smaller airships or going to the observation deck to look out at the sky, she'd find something. Finally, there was dinner and nighttime sparring. We never stopped until midnight.

It was quite a workout, fighting with Lightning. I have never met anyone who tested my skills or strength before, but she did. And not only that – she _loved_ witty, mental challenges. She loved challenges period. Lightning would throw off questions at me that made me give her a bewildered look.

The velocity of a Gran Pulsian airship compared to a Cocoon airship, as it was banking around enemy fire, rolling, and shooting at Eden wasn't something that I knew on the top of my head.

I told her she needed to get out more.

She punched me, albeit lightly and on the shoulder.

I've noticed that she can make me blush just as easily as I can make her. She prods in the right direction and I feel the all too familiar burning on my face and chest. I snap a retort back and watch with delight as her much paler skin gains the color to match her hair.

Another thing… It… Kinda bugs me. The men would…ogle her while we were talking. I would see their eyes, checking her out whenever they thought she wasn't looking. One time, this lieutenant was doing that very thing, and the metal bar in my hands – the one that was a safety to the ground below – it just snapped. The man jumped at the sudden noise, gulping audibly as he stared at me and backed away.

Lightning was amused.

I was not.

OOO

It was the last night before we stormed the _Palamecia_. Lightning had left to go grab something; she said that she'd be right back.

We weren't going to spar tonight, one we weren't feeling it, and two, I was too nervous. Every time I drew my lance, I imagined it piercing that old crock's heart. His little pet, the dirty blonde, she was after him, glasses askew, blood covering the gro—

Lightning sat beside me, our sides brushing, and bringing me back from violent thoughts. "You're going to break the bar again." She unclenched my hand that had been tightening its grip. Placing the hand back in my lap, she turned toward the large window in front of us, looking out at the sky.

She gets points for the romanticism.

We were on the observation deck, with four fifths of the room covered in huge glass windows. We were flying above the milky, white clouds, with the brilliant light of Eden illuminating the entire sky. But there were no stars. No moon, no fields. No mountains or plains. A pseudo world. A cocoon.

"I wish you could see Gran Pulse."

Lightning smiled as she looked at Eden. "I think I'm getting used to the idea."

I always talk to her about how Gran Pulse is better. I speak the truth after all.

"You'd fit in well there." I traced the outline of my necklace, as I looked out at the dim, broken shell of Cocoon. Oerba was out there.

"How so?"

How wouldn't you fit in there?

"You're a soldier; you have combat experience to the point where all would acknowledge you. Along with that you have morals and standards… You'd protect your family no matter what, and that's gold to us." My hand slipped from my necklace. "You'd be a sight to see as a hunter."

She was quiet for a moment. She liked to think about things, turning them over in her mind until she comes up with a response.

"You're already a sight to see here." Lightning pinched my sari, pulling slightly. Her hand rested on my bare thigh for a moment. Her eyes caught my brown wolf pelts, reaching to hold one of them up. "Is this real?"

Is this real? I scoff. "Yeah, Sunshine." I grabbed it and waved it in front of her face, tickling her a bit. "Real life animal skins hanging off of my belt."

She laughed, pushing my hands away.

I catch them, laughing with her and pin them together. I reached my other hand out to ruffle her hair – like I would with Vanille. She ducked as I messed up her pink locks, tackling me to the ground and trying to get back at my hair.

This playful side of her never comes out – except when she's with me. I can always drag her out of her little shell; find the kind person lying within. The thing that bothers me is _why _she's hiding.

You rarely see the woman laugh. Ever since she helped me that day, I've made it on the top of my mental to do list to get a chuckle out of the soldier. And now, when she's with me, she smiles easier, laughs casually, and her eyes soften. The hard wall that blocks everybody out fades away with happiness. It makes me glad, but I don't think she realizes it.

By the time we were done messing around, she was laying on top of me. Both of us were panting slightly, grinning. But when she went to push herself off of me, Lightning halted as she met my eyes. Hovering above me, she looked surprised, vulnerable, and scared.

Why was she scared?

I tilted my head to the side. "Light…?"

Her fists clenched on either side of my head, and my eyes narrowed slightly. There was some sort of emotion in her gaze – I wasn't sure what it was. I leaned forward, watching as the unspoken words grew and grew in the aqua orbs, as the blush spread across her cheeks, and as her body began to tremble.

She was nervous and embarrassed… But why—?

_Bam!_

The hatch slamming open was all that was needed for her to scramble off of me. Lightning was obviously flustered as she brushed herself off. "See you later, Fang."

Then she stomped off.

I groaned and dropped back down on the deck.

What is with this woman?

OOO


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **_*Insert apology here* Thanks for always being there for me guys/girls. Now, please enjoy and leave a nice, happy reivew :) _

OOO

"What is with that girl?" I thought aloud, kicking lazily at some foreign Cocoon machinery in my way. You think that the military would be all neat and proper. On the surface they were, but down in the lower decks, it was chaotic. Pieces of ship parts, metal, scrap, and tools littered the place; mechanics and engineers were in their element down here, running the ship to their every command. The boys upstairs, all they do is steer. That's what one of them said.

Ever since our little 'incident' Lightning has been avoiding me. Not going to lie, I miss her. And it's only been two days. _Two_. Damn pathetic. Little viper girl got me twisted around her little finger.

I huffed out an aggravated breath, blowing an idle strand of multicolored brunette hair out of my face. Muttering about bipolar Cocoon women, I walked to the elevator lift to go up to the observatory level. It's strange, but I feel calmer when I look out at the sky; it's like I'm free – able to fly away from everything. Our Focus, being l'Cie, the killing… everything.

Then again, I always think deeply whenever I'm looking out at the clouds. I start to think about what _could _have happened, what _should _have happened. Regrets begin to spill forth like a broken dam, worn and rusted barriers giving way to the flood.

As I walked up to the wide window that rose from the ground to the curved ceiling, I thought about my first kill. Eight years old, I remember slaying a wolf – impressive for someone so young. I was immediately placed amongst the older, adolescent hunters who were quick to segregate me. They were 'jealous' of my talent, the Elders said. Whatever it was, they pushed me to do my hardest, earn my acceptance. Even then, it never came.

At twelve, I took my first human kill. Our village was… _raided_. That's the nicer term. Looking back, I was surprised that I wasn't killed. I was out in the mountains, home of the Yun clan. I saw smoke hovering over the trees, a large pillar signaling an outbreak of despair. Our small group of young hunters sprinted back to the village, and what we found was imprinted in our memories just as deep, and just as horrifying as a l'Cie brand carved unto skin.

The village was burning, the people dying. We were children, we didn't think, we didn't know what to do. We ran to our homes, in hopes that _someone, anyone _was alive.

When I got to our house, I saw my father and my mother, their throats slit. Blood pooled on the ground, and I remember thinking that 'Human or animal, blood is the same'. That didn't even break me, it was close, I was on the edge – but when I lowered my head to my mother's stomach I finally broke down.

My mother had been pregnant, and my baby sister… the little one that never had a chance at life, was next to her, the babe's cord that was her connection to our mother, wrapped around her neck.

And people wondered why I'm so damn protective over Vanille.

OOO

This is why Vanille is so hyperactive and craves to do something. It's not that she _wants_ to; it's to keep me from thinking about the past – about the horrors of war. War is honorable, they say, it's all well and good until you actually go out there and see the blood, the soilders dying, the screams of the damned. To see your comrade in arms – the one you faithfully trusted to guard your back – to see the light fade from their eyes, their bodies go limp and then stiffen, _lifeless… _it changes you. Makes you think thoughts that should never exist.

This is the legacy of war: Nothing but pain.

Five hundred years later and nothing has changed. Not a surprise.

I pressed my forehead against the glass, my arms loosely crossed. I was so _tired_ of this… People my age didn't have to deal with the bullshit.

"Why me?" I whispered, closing my eyes tightly.

The memories don't go away; they come back stronger and fiercer. They flash bright, and then fade away, until another strike illuminates the darkest corners of my mind. It never stops. Memories, horrors… they don't need sleep or a break – they keep going, coming at you like an enemy that can't be staggered and can't be beaten.

And I have no fucking idea how to get rid of it.

I lifted my head from the glass to hit it against the hard surface, muttering old Oerban curses under my breath.

"That doesn't look like it's going to help."

Spinning around I was met with a sight that thrilled me as well as sent a shiver of tension down my spine. "Might as well try." I covered myself, hiding my obvious signs of falling apart like a hunter hiding her tracks.

Lightning walked over to where I was looking out the window. We stood there in silence, gazing out into the freedom of the sky.

_Artificial sky… _I thought, grimly. Turning to look at her, I paused as the sunlight and the brilliant blue combined with her cornflower blue eyes and turned them into a glowing supernova of color. She noticed me staring at her, and she arched one slender, pink eyebrow, amused. I shook my head to clear it, making the left corner of her mouth twitch upwards. "Why have you been avoiding me?"

She shrugged nonchalantly.

So it was going to be one of _those _talks then, hmm?

"I think you're scared." My declaration made the muscles in her jaw clench tight.

"You think so?"

Her quiet reply set me on the edge, always torn between creeping closer and dashing away.

"Yes, _sweetheart_." The smirk I sent her way, finally set off the spark of anger within the hot-headed woman and the next thing I knew, I was ducking under a slash from her gun-blade, rolling to the side to avoid a bullet, and flipping away to dodge a well-aimed kick. I laughed, exhilarated and happy for once. "I missed you, Sunshine!" Chuckling, I flipped again, avoiding another hail of bullets. Yeah, she was trying to kill me, but I missed her sparring… I missed her.

But, I should probably be paying more attention to the blade that's whizzing within centimeters of my face, yeah?

"Most people—," Her sword stabbed at me and I twisted back and to the side, letting my lance block the blow. "—_normal _people—," She ducked whenever I separated my lance and went to wrap it around her. "—would run away from danger, _Fang._"

"Ah, but that's why you love me, yeah?" I winked, flipping my separated lance so fast that it was a gold and red blur. I flicked it around her waist and drug her to me, the back of her body pressed flush against my front.

Her breathing was labored, and there were little beads of sweet on her neck where her hair parted to reveal the porcelain skin there. Her skin looked like it needed to be marked, to show whose territory it belon—

I leaned backward – not even realizing that I had been leaning _forward _– breathing just as hard as Lightning and pulling my lance away.

I did _not _just think that.

Lightning turned around, confusion apparent on her face. Wait a minute—

"You didn't fight back?" I tilted my head to the side, my eyes narrowing slightly. She… doesn't like contact.

Right?

Another shrug.

"Look, just _talk_ to me already." I groaned. I really was getting tired of the evasive, No-One-Gets-To-See-The-Real-Lightning Game.

Lightning smiled then, a real smile. "Are you getting frustrated, Fang?"

"You don't know the half of it…" I muttered, glaring at my sandals.

Her eyes went distant. "Oh, I think I do…"

What? My eyes flicked back up to meet hers. I could tell she was hiding something. Her face was carefully set, blocking any outward emotion. Only her eyes spoke volumes, the tumultuous tide of emotion boiling over like the worst storm in a violent sea. Five minutes, ten minutes, a half an hour passed, with our silent communication the only thing present in the room. I was sifting through the woman, digging past her barriers, knocking away the false trails, to find—

Alarms rang, signaling the troops to readiness. Lightning's attention focused past me, to the window and passed it to spot the monstrous ship; our objective. Her eyes narrowed to thin slits. "Dysley."

_Vanille. _

OOO

_Hours later…_

Everything was taking its toll.

Leaning back against the wall of the Ark, my arms curled protectively around Vanille. I couldn't get over the fact that she was here, safe and sound. My fingers idly played with her bright, orange hair, twisting the strands around a finger to let them bounce loosely. As always, I got the tingly feeling whenever someone was watching me.

It wasn't hard to guess who it was.

I knew what she was thinking, what she wanted, and what she couldn't do. Lightning was thinking about Serah as I cradled my sister, she wanted her back, to protect her and love her, but she couldn't. She was a sister without her other half, just like I was. Now mine is back, and I am whole again.

At least, I thought I was.

My thoughts drifted back to when we had rescued Vanille…

"_Fang!"_

"_Vanille!" I surged forward, yanking the redhead closer and holding her tightly to me. My eyes flashed around the perimeter, searching for anything that wanted to separate us again. I could feel her arms around me tighten, a silent confirmation that this was real._

_Running a hand through her hair, I said, "Don't you ever run away again, you hear me?"_

_She nodded silently, tears falling down her face. I brushed them away, and pulled her closer, before glancing behind me at the rest of the crew. _

_Snow and Hope were talking with the older man that was with Vanille, Sazh. He seemed like the kind of man to be the fatherly type to anyone. I assumed that's what he was to Vanille, seeing as she had clung to him as they clambered out of the ship._

_My eyes shifted over to Lightning and what I saw made the blood rush from my face. Lightning… She was in pain. Her face was twisted up, looking as if she was about to break down right there, but as soon as I raised one arm to… I don't know, __**help**__ her somehow, she drew back. I knew what she was thinking, what she was feeling, and I wanted to help her but…_

_Her gaze turned cold, hard. Those blue eyes that could laugh, smile, and bring warmth were fading; the woman that I had gotten to know on the Lindblum was fading. Instead there was this imposter, this 'stronger' and colder replacement._

"_Light…" I choked out._

"_We've got to move."_

There was an empty hole in my chest now. I've had it ever since I was little. It had gotten worse when Vanille had left, but now with Lightning… I peered at her from the corner of my eye. It's hard to describe, but it's like a mixture of hopelessness, sorrow, and depression gathered right underneath my breast and it radiates to the rest of my body. My limbs become heavier, my mind slower, and my motions sluggish. Nothing exists but the feeling of _nothing, _of somethingthat _should_ be there but isn't. Something precious that is missing, but you don't know what it is.

It's the worst feeling.

I took a deep breath, clutching Vanille tighter as a safeguard, before looking up to meet Lightning's glare head on. She didn't break the gaze for once and I looked away first, continuing to watch her out of the corner of my eye. Lightning's cold glare drifted from me down to my sister, and my hands clenched tightly, possessively. I could see her swallow tightly, before getting to her feet and stalking off, gun-blade in one hand, and a hell of a lot of anger in the other.

Once her steps had faded, I shifted to peer at the boys. "Sazh!" I hissed. The old man grunted in his sleep, waking the little chocobo hidden in his tightly packed, curly hair. The little, yellow fuzzball poked out of Sazh's hair. "Hey!" The little bird 'Kweh'ed in question. "Wake him for me, would ya?"

A 'kweh' and hard peck later, Sazh was up, grumpy, but understanding as I told him my predicament. He wished me luck, plopping himself down where I was and let Vanille lean on him. The poor girl would have intense nightmares if she didn't feel that someone was near. I slipped into the shadows, the bodies of different sorts of beasties littering the tunnels and caverns of the Ark. Lightning's trail was apparent; the corpses were riddled with bullets and hacked to pieces.

And then I found her, slumped against the wall. I stumbled as my chest felt a sharp, painful, jerk.

Heartbreak _can_ manifest itself – it has been proven.

I guess this is what I was feeling.

"Light…"

Her shoulders stiffened, as she resumed back to her ramrod straight, military position. "Go back to camp, I'm just scouting ahead."

"By yourself? That's smart."

"Fang, I said _go_."

"And I say, 'Like hell'."

Lightning spun around to face me, her eyes full of anger and hatred. She marched over to me, her breathing hard and uneven and all I thought was that angry or happy she was the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen and –

The next thing I knew, I was sprawled out on the ground, clutching my jaw. Why does she have to be so damn distracting _now_?I growled, pushing myself off of the floor, only to feel another solid punch knock me back down. Blood trickled out of my mouth, and I spat a glob out.

I laughed bitterly. "Is this how you solve all of your problems, Lightning?"

Another hit landed, this time to the side of my head. "Beatin' the shit out of me isn't going to make this any better!" I roared at her.

I ducked underneath the next fist she threw my way, pulling her on top of me. Quickly, I rolled over, pinning her arms above her head and glaring down at her, furious. "What the hell is with you?"

Lightning turned her head away, avoiding my eyes. I couldn't see clearly in the dim light, but as I reached out to turn her head to face me, I could feel the wet streaks of telltale tears running down her cheeks. "Light…?"

"You left." She whispered, her voice empty and lost.

"What are you…?" My eyes widened as I finally realized what she was talking about – what was making her into an apathetic berserk. I had gotten Vanille back, and had completely ignored Lightning.

"No… Light. Look at me!" I forcefully grabbed her chin and made her make eye contact with me. "I'm sorry." My voice broke, my eyes were pleading with hers. "I'm sorry, I…"

"Forgot? Didn't care? Slipped your mind?" Her voice got louder and louder, the amount of hurt revealing itself in her voice. "Your sister is _here_, safe. Mine is… mine…"

I laid down atop her, pulling her as tight as humanely possible to me. "Light, I'm so sorry… It won't happen again – _ever_. I swear it." She didn't reply to me and I pulled back, only inches from her face. "I understand, and I know that I… I left you, I'm sorry." My hands clenched tighter from where they were resting beside either side of Lightning's head. "You feel alone and scared and hurt that the one person that you trusted left you because I got the one thing that brought us two together. I… I don't deserve your forgiveness or understanding – and – and if you never do, I get it. After everything we went through _I don't deserve it_. But please…" Shaking, I raised one hand to stroke her cheek. Her eyes closed at the touch, leaning in for more contact. "I _will_ help you get Serah back, even if it kills me. And I will _never_ leave you again."

"…Promise." Lightning's eyes opened and fixed me with a rigid stare. "Promise that you'll be by my side, and help me rescue Serah and then…"

"Then we'll both have our happy endings, our other halves, complete."

She nodded.

"I promise, Light."

OOO

We returned to find all of the group still sleeping, our only witness the crackling fire, and a small yellow chocobo keeping guard over its master. I had carried Lightning back to camp – after fighting all of the beasts in the tunnels alone, she had exhausted herself. She threw me a confused look whenever I walked over to Vanille's side and slid to the ground beside her. Lightning went to get up – I assume she is still uncomfortable with seeing a broken similarity repaired that wasn't her – but I held her fast, holding her to me. "Don't go."

She struggled no more after that one request, burrowing herself closer to me as I held her tightly. "Never again, Light. Never."

I held the broken woman together, temporarily healing the open wounds that would not be fixed until finding the one salve that could help her.

Serah.

OOO


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **_I disappeared and then all of a sudden popped up out of nowhere. I'm sorry. _

_Anyways, about this chappy…_

_I'm not happy with it, but I figured I needed to post something, right? Different emotions ranging throughout, but it will turn for the best. Trust me. I don't like unhappy endings. _

OOO

Walking through the Ark brought back memories.

And not the good kind.

Lightning, Vanille, and I had ventured ahead of the boys—seeing as we Pulsians had a general idea of what we were up against. Lightning said that strategically, we were the best choice—two specialized saboteurs, both with Pulsian background, and both with opposite strengths with her being the medium. Logical choice, in my opinion.

But Vanille and I both know that Light just wants us for our lovely conversation.

Speaking of conversation… My eyes darted to my little sister as she edged closer and closer to Lightning. The girl's head was tilted to the side slightly, hands clasped behind her back, emerald eyes apprehensive. In the back of the group, I watched as Lightning's attention suddenly went from surveying the surrounding area to Vanille.

I was too far away to hear what they were saying, but I could read lips easy enough.

"_L-Light… I'm sorry._"

Light gave a sorrowful, beautiful smile—and all I felt then was to rush to her side and cradle her in my arms.

"_Don't be. It wasn't your fault._"

Vanille stopped walking, looking down at the ground, eyes shut tightly, fists clenched at her sides. I frowned, walking quicker to catch up with the two.

"_Vanille?_"

My sister shook her head, her false smile in place. "_I'm okay. Let's keep going._"

For once, Vanille took the lead, leaving a very confused, worried Lightning in her wake. I shook my head as I fell into step beside soldier girl. "Did I say something—?"

"Nah. Don't stress about it." I watched the younger girl skip ahead, keeping a close eye on her. "Vanille… Her mind wanders. She probably brought that up for when you were first turned l'Cie."

The corners of her lips twitched upwards. "Sounds like Serah."

I let out a chuckle. "The two would get along quite well."

We fell into a companionable silence, walking side by side. I kept watching Fang out of the corner of my eye, examining her.

Lightning walked so… confident. It was a combination of attitude and danger. She walked with a purpose, her mind set and focused on the mission at hand. It was different for me; I like to _strut_. We both were confident, but hers was so different. Whereas mine was a more of a predatory tease, hers was more of a disciplined swagger.

I shifted my gaze upwards to watch her face, noticing how her eyes were constantly scanning, cerulean orbs ever restless.

She never relaxes unless I hold her or we spar.

That thought made me stop walking, staring off into midair. Everything was blocked out as I figured out my little epiphany.

Relaxing means that you feel secure, safe. So that must mean that Lightning feels that way around me. I'm the only one out of our little troupe that can calm the soldier down.

Now that I think about it though, that's only one out of five people. Other people might be able to have this effect on her, so I shouldn't be feeling this warm feeling in my chest right now.

"Fang?" Her questioning tone brought me back to reality, and I actually took Lightning in for full view. She stood there turned slightly toward me, concern etched unto her features. Her eyes were softening by the second as mine focused back on the present. Her hair was framed around her face, part of one cornflower blue eye peeking out from her bangs, the other fully revealed and sparkling with life, determination, emotion, everything that made Lightning Farron.

I still didn't respond, even when she walked back to me, nudging me in the shoulder. "Pulse to Fang. Anybody in there?"

She started fidgeting as I stared at her, having no idea of my realization of her. "Fang, snap out of it."

A gentle slap later and I finally woke up, shaking my head violently. "Sorry." I blurted out, not knowing what I was apologizing for.

Lightning obviously thought the same, arching one exquisite eyebrow in question. I shook my head again, stating, "We better catch up to Vanille before she wakes the whole bloody Ark up."

Silence was my answer as the cadence of Lightning's footsteps sounded as she followed me.

OOO

Ah, Bahamut that beautiful bastard.

I slung my lance back in its sheath, crossing my arms as I gazed out on the transparent, tribal path that my guardian had made. Sazh, Snow, Hope, and Vanille walked past me, my sister throwing me back a warm grin before continuing on with the others. I could feel Lightning as she stood beside me, hand tracing over her gunblade.

In a cheeky tone she said, "So that's what your tattoo was for."

"Yeah," I sighed, resting my hands on my hips.

"When did you get it?"

"After me and Vanille were made l'Cie, I was so angry that _he_ showed up right then." I glanced at Lightning, scoffing as I saw her incredulous expression. "I'm serious. Bastard showed up a hell of a lot stealthier than this time. Gave me this scar," I said, pointing to the highest one on my shoulder. "Bloody cheat." I muttered, getting a small thrill as Lightning smiled in amusement. "But anyway, Vanille and I bested him, and we went back for Oerba for supplies for our journey. I asked to get a tattoo of my Eidolon, and was given one."

"Why?" I jumped as I felt Lightning's fingers trace over my inked flesh, lingering, caressing.

I kept my voice steady. "Because I felt that he should be remembered. He's my guardian; he protects me, and for that, I honor him should I continue to live on."

"I respect Odin," She began slowly. "But I don't think I'd get a tattoo of him on me."

"Like a nasty breakup up, right?"

She laughed, the sound echoing in the forgotten Ark. "Exactly."

"I can see your point." I chuckled, grabbing her cape and tugging her along with me down the glowing trail. "We better get a move on before our dashing heroes leave us behind, yeah?"

"Because they can totally save the world without us."

"What? You mean that we aren't required? I'm wounded!"

Lightning chuckled.

"…Light?"

"Yes, Fang?"

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." She smiled at me, squeezing my arm before marching on to join the others.

And now I feel like a smitten teenager.

Idiot.

OOO

Etro chose wisely when She bestowed Bahamut to me. I love the sky, the feel of weightlessness, the wind blowing against me. It seems as if anything could happen up here. I twisted in the air, grinning widely as gravity brought me closer to the ground. Snow and Sazh, I could still hear their yelling and it did nothing but make me laugh.

Hope and Vanille were quiet though, holding hands as they fell closer to Gran Pulse. Mind back on track, I grabbed my crystal as it formed from my shoulder, rolling to throw it so Bahamut could have release. I started as I saw Lightning right behind me, twisting through the air, gunblade unsheathing and then—before I thought she even aimed—she shot at my crystal.

My jaw dropped.

"Show off!" I yelled above the wind, laughing with her. Bahamut dove toward us, and I glanced down to check on Vanille and Hope before spreading my arms and legs to make more wind resistance. As I slowed my descent I grabbed Lightning's hand, flipping to land smoothly on Bahamut's back. I grinned at her. "Very nice."

"Not too bad yourself." She grinned back.

I was feeling so giddy, so euphoric with happiness. We were back on Gran Pulse, familiar territory. I was in the air on my Eidolon with a drop-dead gorgeous woman that could rival me in battle. I can't be blamed for temptation.

I leaned closer, pressing my lips to hers quickly. "Thanks for the assist, soldier." I winked at her shell shocked, chocobo-stuck-in-headlights expression. Her mouth tried to form words—

"Are you alright?" Vanille's high-pitched voice interrupted.

"Oh yeah, I'm _great._" Hope replied, probably rolling his eyes, no doubt. They reached out to catch the sides of my summon and Bahamut slowed our descent, catching Snow and Sazh as well.

Lightning stared at me, and I tried to ignore it, but I can feel those intense sapphires on me. My hands shook a little, and her eyes dropped to those before turning her gaze out on the Pulsian horizon.

"Home sweet home," I said. "Welcome to Gran Pulse."

OOO

We haven't talked.

I sat on one side of the camp and she on the other. The others had gone out, following my sister as she went on and on about how it was 'in our time' and 'how different'.

Funny how we always ended up together.

I figure that I'm going to have to start, seeing as I instigated first.

"Light—,"

"Don't."

I blinked a few times. "Excuse me?"

"Don't play with my emotions."

Her insolent tone grated my nerves. I shot up, glaring at her. "I'm not playing."

My defiance and anger quickly melted away as I saw the sheer amount of emotion in her eyes. "Light…" I walked forward, raising one hand up slowly, giving her time to pull away, before brushing her bangs aside. My fingers trailed down her cheek, her neck. I marveled at the soft, smooth skin, eyes searching hers. "I know you don't trust easy. I'm not screwing around with your feelings."

Her jaw clenched, eyes boring into mine. "Then I'm not just an easy lay?"

"I don't know about the people in Cocoon or I may be crazy," I murmured, tilting her face up to mine. "But I would never do that to you."

She closed her eyes, breathing in and out heavily. It was hard for her to handle so much emotion. "Fang…" She swallowed thickly, opening her eyes up and looking off to the side. "Maybe when this is over—,"

"What if it doesn't?" I interrupted her.

"We can't _do_ this now." The steel started reappearing in her eyes. "We need to be focused on not turning into Cie'th, not useless emotions."

Useless.

I snatched my hand back. "Useless." I echoed, eyes empty.

"Wait, Fang, I didn't mean—,"

"Useless." I repeated again, rage surging through me.

"Fang—,"

I spun away from her, walking to the edge of camp. "You know something is useless when you don't care, Lightning."

I didn't look back as I left.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **_An update? This soon? There really must be an apocalypse going on. ;P_

_I'm acting completely retarded when it comes to tenses... Just a warning. X)_

OOO

This is what happens when you throw your heart out for everybody to see.

Marching through the Vallis Media to Etro knows where, Lightning is the only thing in my mind. We have an understanding, a certain feeling for each other and she wants to wait until after we're through with our Focus? Does she not know that we don't have _time_?

Excuse me if you've never been crystallized for five centuries _Sunshine_, but time is most definitely not on our side. I would know.

I don't know where I am going, where my feet are taking me. I'm following my instincts—going with my gut feeling. I skirt around the King Behemoths, the Adamantoise, and Gorgonopsids. I may be angry enough to kill a few beasties, but it's been awhile—well, more than awhile—since I've been home.

I'm pissed, but I'm not stupid.

Eventually, I stop and stare out at the plains of the Archylte Steppe. Cocoon hangs in the air, the orange and green tones illuminating that part of the sky, the moon hovering opposite, giving off a friendlier, natural light.

I sigh, taking my lance and laying it down beside me as I slump to the ground, placing my arms behind my head.

Sometimes, I think that it would be lovely if emotions never existed—if I could just _be_.

My fingers trace my frozen l'Cie brand thoughtfully. Maybe I prefer being crystallized.

And now I'm starting to act like Sunshine.

Growling at the thought, I sit up, drawing my knees in to embrace them.

It's going to be a long night.

OOO

I take back saying I wasn't stupid.

Falling asleep isn't the best idea.

The sound of a branch snapping had me surging to my feet awake, kicking my lance up in the process and readying for battle. When a familiar face emerged, a bright set of emerald eyes watching me worriedly, I lower my lance, settling back on the ground.

Vanille sat next to me, leaning on me for warmth. It was quiet—I knew it wouldn't last for long. But for now it was peaceful, except for the raging thoughts and arguments inside my head.

"You and Lightning are a lot alike." She states randomly.

I stare straight ahead, avoiding the sidelong glance. "You think?" I mutter.

Vanille hugged her knees to her chest, chin resting on top. "Yep."

This is another reason why Vanille is my little sister. She bugs the shit out of me sometimes.

"What are you doing here, Vanille?" I ask wearily.

"Lightning's worried—,"

"She doesn't give a damn." I interrupt, my venomous tone and cold glare making her clamp her mouth shut, if only for a few seconds.

"Yes she does—!"

"Believe me Vanille, Lightning doesn't care. She doesn't know the meaning of the bloody word."

Vanille shot to her feet, she glaring at me, little fists clenched at her sides. "You may not see it, but _I _do." I went to speak but she overrode me. "Don't say that she doesn't, because she does. She isn't one to go showing emotion all time! You have to give her—,"

"When you weren't there, she _did_!" I snarl, standing up and glaring down at her.

There are tears in her eyes, and only now do I understand the double implication of my words. "No, Vanille…" I weakly raise a hand to pull her back to me, but she steps further away, muffling her sobs as she continues to watch me with those tear-filled, tragic eyes. "Vanille… I didn't mean it…"

"Then why did you say it?" She screams, her voice cracking.

"I don't know! I don't know anything anymore, Vanille! You're my sister and we're both in this fucking mess _again_! And then we get thrown along with four _vipers_—one of them that I'm so attracted to that I can't get her out of my head! I want nothing more for this to be over with—nothing more than to never have met them or had our Focus!"

Silence reigned throughout the Steppe as I finally let out everything that had been on my mind. "Every day I see the people that died for us, because of us, and every _day_ I wish that I had no part in this. Because of us, people are dying—and yeah, that includes Sazh, Snow, Hope, Lightning—they're all dying. _You're_ dying, and I'm stuck here, can't do anything about it, and it's just…" I look at my hands, scarred and callous. "I'm frozen. I don't want to be stuck herding a bunch of Cie'th around and…" My hands grip tightly into fists. "I need something to keep going."

"…"

"Vanille, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. And… I don't know what's wrong with me." I laugh weakly, voice cracking as I ran a hand through my hair.

"Fang…" The next thing I feel are her arms wrapping around my middle, her tears falling down on my shoulder as she cries. I run my fingers through her hair, gritting my teeth to keep my own from slipping down my cheeks.

And even as Vanille gave me her comfort, I wished that Lightning was the one I was holding.

OOO

In the morning, we walk back to camp where Sazh had been keeping watch. He nodded his head in greeting, looking worn out. Vanille smiled and skipped over to him, trying to cheer the old man up a little.

The chocobo chick that resided in his hair flew over to me and I raise a hand for it to land on. "You're quite chipper today."

_Kweh! _

"That so?"

_Kweh! Kweh!_

"Well alright then, mate."

The chick took off, diving into Sazh's hair headfirst. Vanille walked over to me, irritably asking, "You didn't understand him at all, did you?"

"Nah."

"He said you should apologize."

"Advice from a bird…?" I arch an eyebrow.

"He also said you have a horrible attitude and that he would never like to nest in your hair."

That made me laugh.

"Hey, old man," I nudge his knee with my boot. "Tell your bird to pipe down before I smack his feathery arse all the way to Cocoon and back."

Sazh chuckles, tilting his head so that the devil could poke his head out of the tightly packed curls and squawk at me indigently.

The others were beginning to rouse awake, and I put some distance between Lightning and I. The last thing we needed was for everybody to notice blatantly that we are… complicated.

Frowning, I thought about… us.

What are we exactly?

We aren't friends—we sure as _hell_ aren't sisters… Best friends? Soul mates?

My musings are interrupted as Lightning made deliberate eye contact with me. I froze, her eyes rooting me to the spot, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks. She stared almost… hungrily at me, and I her. The feeling of want, _need_ to touch—to drag her away somewhere and ravage her until she screams out my name was _overpowering_. I wanted to make love to her, claim her as mine. But then there was also tenderness—the craving to brush the bangs aside and plant kisses along her jaw, to let her feel my hands gently glide along her perfect skin over her stomach, hips, thighs… My jaw clenched at the wave of emotion—lust, love, want, affection, protection—I was losing control.

And then she turned away from me, and all I feel is an empty hole in my chest—an ache, an absence of the feelings that had exploded within me.

_Damn_ that woman.

OOO

The whole while we explored Gran Pulse, she didn't say one word to me—if she did it, it was to the entire crew. For example: 'Let's go' or 'Move out' or, my favorite 'This is a waste of time'.

And I fell for her?

Remind me to bash my head into the nearest canyon.

Or shred my emotions with Bahamut's claws—either way.

Vanille could see my facial expressions as Lightning transformed back into the cold, aloof soldier. She would elbow me in the side, shooting me pouty glares and me—being the wonderful big sister I am—would grin and bear it like a good person.

Everyone was all chuckles, too. Snow and Hope—the most obviously curious of the lot—would go around, exploring everything, even after I warned them. Sure enough, they managed to attract a whole pack of Behemoths into chasing them and—I _loved_ this—Lightning expected us to leap to their rescue.

When she drew her blade and tensed to spring, I sat down, crossing my legs and watched as the two ran around in circles, dodging the swipes that the Behemoths gave them.

She had turned to me, eyes icy. "You're just going to sit there?"

"Nah, thought I'd enjoy the view." I winked, my eyes lingering on her figure.

"You're—," She couldn't even call me a name horrid enough, and she quickly jumped from our line of cover, sprinting over to the two, Sazh and Vanille close behind.

They were fine, of course. Laughing about how close of a call it was, with Lightning snapping at them for being so stupid. A scowl reserved just for me was shown and we were off again.

OOO

I sat by the pond now, far away from camp, my lance resting on my shoulder, my whole body curled around and leaning on it. Staring at my reflection in the water, I reached a hand out to trace my cheek, wishing, aching for it to be someone else's. The moon was behind me, and it reflected dully in my eyes. It was so bright that I could see for miles—it was gorgeous.

Maybe it's high time I jumped off of the moody, surly, broody horse, but I didn't feel like it.

Quiet footsteps, heavier than most, mechanical with a certain cadence came into my range of hearing. Metal and rubber against grass, forging a determined stride approached closer to me.

Fiddling with my braid, I turn to look at my intruder slowly, arrogance and irritation clear.

The next thing I knew I was flat on the ground. I lay there, unmoving, staring up at the sky.

"Well? Aren't you going to get up?"

I didn't answer her.

"Are you too scared?" She sneers.

I still didn't say anything.

"…"

It's quiet—almost peaceful, really, until I feel her drop beside me on the ground her hands brushing aside my bangs. I flinch away and hear a relieved sigh. I scramble to my feet, backing away to look at Lightning. She was on her knees, hands where I once was, an unknown emotion flickering through her eyes.

_Was it…_

Her hands clenched. She pressed one fist on the ground to push herself up into a standing position, head lowered, body slumped, just… watching her boots.

_Hurt?_

"… I'm sorry."

Silent, I watch her, waiting to see what she was going to do.

"I… I'm not used to this, Fang. I needed time to think."

I finally answer her. "You sure seemed like it."

Biting her bottom lip, Lightning looked out to the plains.

"So that's it? One day and now you're okay with it?" My eyes narrow. "Sounds like bullshit to me."

"I thought you wanted this." Lightning said quietly.

I took a few steps closer to her, still far away. "I want _you_. But I don't want some of you. I want all. So until you're ready to give everything that you are to me then no, I don't want this."

"… What do you mean by that?"

"You know what I mean." I huff, looking away.

Silence is our ever constant, awkward companion.

"What am I to you, Fang?"

"What am I to you?" I threw back.

Lightning sucked in a quick breath, and, gritting her teeth, she said, "You are an infuriating Pulsian that won't get out of my head and likes to toy with my emotions."

"And you're a cold viper from hell who likes to twist people around her finger to do whatever it is that she bloody wants."

We are both breathing heavily, glaring at each other, snarling, hands resting on our weapons. Her hand twitches and she's nothing but a blur. I dodge the uppercut sent my way, aiming a kick for her midsection. She grasps my foot, yanking me closer to her so that she can swing at my face again and I take her legs out with mine, making us both land on the ground painfully. We roll away from each other, scrambling to our feet before charging again. I throw a punch to her face, and her arm came up to block it. I caught her right hand in mine, blocking the knee she threw to my stomach with my other hand. She slapped me with her free hand, the sound echoing throughout the area. Growling I yanked her down to the ground, where we rolled so that she was on top. Lightning punched me once, twice, three times in the ribs and I'm pretty sure that a few of them are broken. I coil in myself, launching her up off of me with my legs, rolling to my side to clutch at my side.

Lightning immediately flips up, rushing at me again, tackling me back down to the ground and I thought it was never going to end until—out of pure desperation—I wrapped my arms around her, burying my face in her chest to minimize the damage she was doing to me.

Her hits became weaker and weaker until she finally stops, panting, hands resting on my shoulders.

I groan when she moves her legs, which were straddled on either side of me. The pain from my broken ribs screams as Lightning shifted, and I couldn't help the small cry of pain. It hurt to breathe, hell it hurt to _think_ to breathe.

I still didn't move, not wanting to cause any more pain and Lightning—Lightning doesn't move either. I don't know why, but she doesn't.

A cool, healing feeling flows through me suddenly, starting at my ribs and I look down surprisingly to find Lightning's hand resting on my side, a Cure spell dissipating into me. I stare at the hand resting on me, the arm band, the metal studded gloves, and pale white fingers—wondering why Lightning would even heal me after knocking the shit out of me when I feel her other hand brush my hair from my face. I glance at her and freeze.

She's an inch away. Those blue eyes, intense, full of emotion, staring at me. Pink strands of her hair tickle my face, and her nose barely brushes mine. My eyes drop to her lips, full, pink, delicious—

I let out a muffled exclamation as she pulls me closer and closes the distance.

Her lips are soft, pressing urgently against my own. I can feel her _everywhere_. I wrap my arms tighter around her, feeling the same from her around my neck. She's pressed up against me, her tongue sliding out of her mouth to lick my bottom lip and I gasp, allowing her entry.

My heart is beating so fast, the adrenaline rushing through me, and I am on _fire_. Everywhere she is touching, I feel like I am burning alive.

I want more; I want to be near her, against her, _inside _her. I want to be naked with her flesh against my own, shivering, caressing, biting—

Our tongues meet somewhere in the middle, twisting around each other, dueling for control. I raise one hand to thread through her locks, pulling her back with a gasp. I lower my head to her slender, unmarked neck, and I press my lips against her pulse, nipping the wonderfully smooth skin there. My other hand circles around tracing the skin underneath her jacket, coming up to her bosom to trace the sensitive area covered with too many layers. Pulling away, I look at the mark on her neck, loosening my grip on her hair to cup her head and pull her back to me, lips crashing against each other.

Her hands slip down my arms to grip them tight enough to leave bruises. I don't care.

I don't know how long we kissed; all I know is that the moon seemed to have jumped across the heavens to land on the other side. I couldn't get enough. Every gasp, moan, and whimper made me crave more, and I happily indulged as Lightning—just as happy—obliged.

Near the end, our legs are tangled together, my sari somewhere over in one direction, Lightning's jacket off to the other. Our arms are wrapped around each other, leaving no space between us.

My thumb brushes against her cheek and I pull away first looking at Lightning, her eyes closed, mouth parted for breath. She leans forward to press her forehead to mine before opening her eyes.

"Light…" I trail off, staring at her, into the deepest part of her soul.

"Hm?" The noncommittal answer belies what she truly feels. I know it does.

"I love you."

She looks down, hands fumbling with my necklace. After a moment, she looks up and smiles that adorable grin that I never knew I grew addicted to and says, "I know. I love you, too."

OOO

_:D_


End file.
